I remember the day you left. I felt like tying rocks or anchors to your ankles so that you wouldn't be able to walk to the check-in point at the airport. I didn't want you to leave. Not yet, I wasn't ready.I remember you leaning in to kiss and hug me , and I swear that not a single force on this earth could stop the trembling of my hands. My heart was pounding, lips quivering and at that moment I knew that I had to let you go. I pictured the moment way before it happened because I knew that one day, you were going to leave. Back then I didn't know when but I now I do. 

My nights were lonely and sleepless.

Oh what would I give to sleep in your arms tonight. I could just lay on your chest and just listen to your heart beat. I guess after spending everyday together, not having you around seems odd. Depressing.You have no idea that everything I do reminds me of you, of us. I sleep, and I think of you. I wake up, i think of you. I hang out with friends, I think of you, of us, and how we used to be. Always carefree, giggly and happy. My hands feel empty. Not having your hands to hold and to keep me safe.

I guess they're right, the best feeling in the world is being utterly in love with someone and the worst feeling in the world is being well.... utterly in love with someone. But who am I to judge? I'm just a young teenager. Young ,reckless and in love.

I love the fact that you make me feel like a million bucks.The fact that you love me despite all my flaws. You were always there for me, no matter what. Whatever I asked for, you gave it to me with no questions asked. You are my Romeo and I am your Juliet. We finished each others sentences. We could read each others minds. We were unstoppable. 

"You have my heart" I said to you once. I never lied.

Where are you?

You're here, but never fully. You ask me why I am always sad, not knowing that you're the cause of my misery. Contrary, you are like my drug. My very own heroine that I can never get enough of. I'm addicted and I never want you to leave.I never want this addiction to end. However, it tears me apart knowing that things have changed. Maybe it's the distance. Everyone says its because of the distance. But is it really? One thing I can say is that my feelings towards you is still the same. I see you, and I see the boy I fell in love with. Tall and innocent.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul,and makes us reach for more, that plants fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give you forever, InsyaAllah. I wont give up, and I'll try until I can't.

Love is the only thing that ends up to be worth it

SJY