Sorry seems to be the hardest word
6:12 pmI guess they’re right, “I’m sorry if..” and “I’m sorry, but…” are not considered as apologies. Its true; we can’t apologise for the feelings of others, we can one apologise for the wring things we diode the things we did that lacked integrity, emphaty or understanding for the other person. If you’re not ready to apologise, then don’t. I confess, when I look back at the times I apologised for something, I had lacked generosity; which doesn’t do much for resolving the discussion.
We tend to add excuses at the end of apologies. When we do that, it diminishes these apologies, so might as well just be up right about, own up to it and just be straight. I don’t give myself the person to make excuses. If I did something wrong, I will apologise, i’ll say “I’m sorry…” If there is a valid reason to why I did what ever I did , I will try and explain why.
Some people tend to approach apologies by launching into self-blame as well as recrimination. The apology’s focus is not on you but on the other significant person. At times, we turn our apologies into our own personal counselling session. We would nag and nag and go on and on about life and what bothers us and completely run off topic. Some people think that if they share their internal self- blame, it would show just how truly sorry they really are. However, all it does is just turn the focus back onto them rather than the other significant person that they are apologising to. Making amend is… taking action to repair the damage done. The consequences of this is that it might cost you — in terms of ego.
Apologising does not have to be admittance of guilt, or even regret. If you have done something that has hurt someone you care about in any way possible, you can apologise just to let them know you care. Theres a difference between apologising for the actions you’ve committed, and apologising for how those actions can hurt someone else, and sometimes just a simple “I’m sorry…” can really go a long way. This is a small price to pay to repair a friendship or relationship. Like i mentioned above, if you’re struggling with your ego or sense of pride, you should just drop it and give a good apology. Your apology will give the other significant party more foundation for ridicule because they assume that you were wrong after all, thus even though you back down to save the relationship, thy don’t let you love it down.
Sara
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