To the heart that is numb,

Standing in terawih (Ramadan night prayers) whilst people around you are weeping - except you. Your friends talk about how exhilarating fasting is for them - but all you feel is irritation; and that is if you feel anything at all. You doas (duplications) are just words you repeat - without heart.

What is the point of it all? Your actions are robotic,you are monotonous and without soul.

Instead, you wish you could be more like that person you see in the midst of the terawih crowd, praying, that sobs and weeps during every prostration. You want to be the one  passionately pleading to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta 'ala (exalted is He) with humility. Your hope is that you can be that person whose heart is broken before God.You know what? You too are special to Allah (swt).

You who recites the Qur'an because you know it is good.

You who prays because Allah (swt) commanded you to.

You who attends lectures on Islam because you want to feel closer to Him.

The Prophet (saw) told us that the person who recites the Qur'an and struggles with the recitation receives twice the reward: (1) for their recitation (2) their effort and their struggle. He who struggles to be devoted in prayers gets twice the reward: (1) For the part that he was devoted (2) For his struggle to stay focused.

As long as you are trying, Allah (swt) is with you.

The fact that you get up to pray Qiyaam (night prayer) even though you feel nothing is appreciated by Allah (swt). When  you mouth the words to you doa even when your heart is number, Allah (swt) knows how you feel. And you are rewarded for that. Do not think that this will go to waste.

Allah (swt) gets it

Because you are not worshipping a feeling, you do not bow down solely for that 'high'. You prostrate only to the Lord of the feelings and the One who is the most High. You submit to Him - through you prayers, fasting and supplication - because you know you have a Merciful, Just, Appreciative, Forgiving God, Who has the power to die life to everything that is dead.

Including you heart.

You know you have a Nurturing, Patient, Generous, Subtle and Kind Lord who can bring back whatever that is lost.

He can bring you back.

To the heart that is numb,

Do not give up just yet as you heart is on a journey. You are first and foremost worshipping your Lord. And he has promised you:

"And those who's drive for Us - we will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good"